Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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