Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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