It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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