I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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