Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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