i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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