can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
