Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
