I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
