Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
