My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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