I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
