i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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