I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
my liver is dry heaving
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
