Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
