Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
