sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
