I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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