tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
