Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
