All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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