and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
