I am in a vortex of obligation.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
