i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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