You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
