i think my mom watched the whole time
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
