I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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