You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
