me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Found the puke drawer
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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