I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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