covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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