you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize