too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
