why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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