by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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