They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize