You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
