yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
