i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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