if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
