Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
