the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
