Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
