so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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