Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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