please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after