Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it