What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
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Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon