I'm drive I can fine osifer
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho