We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
