I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
