Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
