put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
