Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
