new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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