Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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