i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
