Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
