her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
