Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
