This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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