i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
