We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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