In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
