my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation