he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize