Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
